Corporate Legal Department Gifts

"It's legal – but not entirely."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."