Corporate Lawyer Gifts

"I thought it was legal-I wrote it on a legal pad."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."

'It's a thin dividing line,Johnson. Let's just ignore it.'

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

Just Merged.

'Did I say 'merger'? I meant 'acquisition'.'

'How to stump a corporate lawyer.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"I gotta tell ya, these embezzlement convictions raise a red flag."

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

A fight in the Boardroom.

One man thinking 'merger', the other thinking 'takeover'.

Mergers or acquisitions.

"It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'One day this will all be yours - and I'll be out of the country, and you'll be too young to stand trial.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'At Filmore holdings, we don't break the law. We donate to politicians to change the law.'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

'Mergers and takeovers and profits, oh my! Mergers and takeovers and profits, oh my! Mergers and. . . '

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Warning - inappropriate behaviour could lead to harassement claims. Please shake hands under the mistletoe!'

'Whose idea was it that we give our investors full disclosure?'

'Ms. Snack, this constitutes a masterful use of the English language...'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

"We're talking business ethics not ethics."

'You've caught the acquisition fever.'

"I'd like to tell you about work but the legal department doesn't want us to."