Company Lawyer Gifts

'Get me the solicitors, Miss Smith. This counterclaim business is getting out of hand.'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

Campaign for Plain English

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."