Corporate Attorney Gifts

"Can you have another look at this? There's still a few sentences people might understand..."

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

"It doesn't look good. Some of our nationals are at war with some of our other nationals."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Let's run it through legal.'

'Don't make the same mistake as Jesse James! Dillinger too! And Bonnie and Clyde! They didn't incorporate either!'

H Corp - And it's high powered, take-no-nonsense legal dept.

Bird drawing copyright symbols on her eggs

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Profits - "On the positive side, our company has never been touched by any scandal connected with insider trading."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

Welcome to the Team

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'