Commercial Lawyer Gifts

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

Corporate Lawyers

'I'm off to the loo....I'll be back in £270!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

The president's men

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

A fight in the Boardroom.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."