Commercial Lawyer Gifts

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

Corporate Lawyers

'I'm off to the loo....I'll be back in £270!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

The president's men

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Cat and dog at a will reading.