Legal Team Gifts

"Legal thinks it looks like Satan, Marketing thinks Batman."

'What did we say about body language?'

"They're cheaper in bulk."

"I take it the defense rests."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."