Department Head Gifts

"There are too many players and a lack of coordination."

'Please send us an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department.'

"This is Mr Smith, he's head of our Qualitative Department."

"I worked my whole career to get a chair, and this is it?!"

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

Head of Acronym Development

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"You run your department your way, and I'll run mine my way."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"The university has had to scale down its AI department."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I'm sure you'll all agree...30 years of service...Head of Department...leader...role model...father figure...foundation stone...what a self-serving bastard.'

'I need you department heads to put out a memo to the employees that they will be working from home...then, start packing...we're moving to Cleveland.'

'Attention, all department heads! The buck stops there. I've had it!'

"It's pretty simple: the CEO lies to you managers, you lie to the department heads, they lie to the accountants who lie to the customers."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

'You're popular? Your workers are (GASP!) satisfied?? I'm afraid you're not the right person for the Head of Department job!'

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

'Head of Ideas' In and Out trays

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."