Department Chairs Gifts

The Department of Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Parade of Businessmen

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Whistler's father.

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

'Who's going to tell him he's been outsourced?'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'As your new CEO, I want to tell you... we need to talk.'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

'My predecessor left some big shoes to fill.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

The Horror Film Director.

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

'Dammit, Gentlemen! We need someone who's not afraid to 'poop outside the box'!'

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.