Department Chairs Pillows

The Department of Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Parade of Businessmen

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'Who's going to tell him he's been outsourced?'

'As your new CEO, I want to tell you... we need to talk.'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'My predecessor left some big shoes to fill.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

'Okay, places everybody! Here comes the Chairman.'

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.