Bureau Chief Gifts

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Storm in the out tray

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Quality Control

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'