Benefit Agency Manager Gifts

Benefit mistakes cost £one billion a year... Well, in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order.

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

Labor Day '19

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

Employee Benefits

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

'Here's a possibility -- How would you like to be the President of Argentina?'

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

New Improved Child Support Agency

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

"Regarding salary and benefits, pick one or the other."

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

'You've been assessed as incapable of doing this work.'

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

"If you're going to the bank, would you bring me something?"