Benefits Administrators Gifts

"It says I'm entitled to the company's full health benefits package when I become pregnant."

Labor Day '19

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"Your transfer comes with a bonus - 40 acres and a mule."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

Employee Benefits

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"

Universal Credits Computer: Kaput

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."

Benefit mistakes cost £one billion a year... Well, in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order.

'Don't worry, guys, the company daycare will be ready to open in less than a month.'

'You've been assessed as incapable of doing this work.'

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

'Health benefit? Didn't you get a personal first aid kit when you started working here?'

Help wanted. Excellent medical insurance. Salary also available.