Benefits Coordinators Gifts

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Labor Day '19

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

John was determined to involve more people in key decisions. "Hands up who thinks fleet prices should go up."

Walk the dog.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

Companies are slashing employee health care and pension benefits. Cutting, slashing, trimming, eliminating. Look at them go. I feel like I'm watching a great athlete on tv. I'm so inspired! You're one odd duck. Rudy – come hither my overpaid dumpling!

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

Benefit mistakes cost £one billion a year... Well, in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order.

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"

"Regarding salary and benefits, pick one or the other."

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

"I'll see what I can do - Just how ticklish ARE you?"

'No, you don't get a check because your computer is disabled.'

'The Botox will help me to kiss up to the Boss.'