Employee Benefits Coordinator Gifts

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

Labor Day '19

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Human resources department is a stock full of humans.

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

Walk the dog.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

"Putting a trampoline in the breakroom to inspire fitness wasn't one of my best ideas."

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'As a department manager, it's my job to find out my staff members' talents and to appoint them to the place they're best at.'

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

'I'm here to offer you the company's free preventive health counseling...DON'T GET SICK OR ELSE!'

'I've got to change temp agencies.'

Companies are slashing employee health care and pension benefits. Cutting, slashing, trimming, eliminating. Look at them go. I feel like I'm watching a great athlete on tv. I'm so inspired! You're one odd duck. Rudy – come hither my overpaid dumpling!

'Hello, is that the temp agency? Now listen, I specifically asked for Elves!'

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

'I called your office and I told them you were sick...They don't know who you are.'

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'