Benefits Officer Gifts

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'

'You've been coming here so long that you'll probably be invited to the staff Christmas party!'

"I'll see what I can do - Just how ticklish ARE you?"

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

White House Garage Sale.

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

Debt Ceiling and False Ceiling.

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'I keep hoping it's an April Fool!'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"

Walk the dog.

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

Trump Tax Reform Plans

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

Over the Fiscal Cliff