News Executive Gifts

Saved by Butchery

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'If only every year was an election year.'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Newspaper suicide.

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

News for Sale

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

TV Situations vacant.

The Joy of Recession

Who Are You Going to Believe, Us Or Your Lying Eyes and Ears?

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Comcast Takeover

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

'The following government propaganda will be simulcast on all TV and cable networks under relaxed media ownership rules...'

News Reporters.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"