Media Mentor Gifts

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Trial by Media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Local News in Heaven

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

Reporter #6: television.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."