Media Training Gifts

Conservative media training.

'He's not finished his media training!'

'Before we begin, management has asked me to announce that it is the policy to discourage all staff members from speaking to the media.'

Trial by Media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

Hate Platforms

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'How fast can you hype?'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Local News in Heaven

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."