Communication Trainer Gifts

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Couples' therapy

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Teamwork

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"Harold, you've changed."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Ruddy bloggers!

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

WHO checklist

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."