Communications Coach Gifts

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Inclusive speech

Couples' therapy

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Teamwork

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Harold, you've changed."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Let us pray...'

WHO checklist

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Have your people call my people."

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words