Communications Coach Gifts

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Inclusive speech

Couples' therapy

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Teamwork

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Harold, you've changed."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Let us pray...'

WHO checklist

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Have your people call my people."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"