Communication Coaches Gifts

"I am communicating. One picture is worth a 1000 words!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Inclusive speech

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Teamwork

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Harold, you've changed."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Let us pray...'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

WHO checklist

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."