Communication Champions Gifts

Teamwork

"Your daughter is a pain in the ass."

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

'What we need, Edward, are some new things to argue about.'

"We don't talk anymore…we should have done this years ago."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Inclusive speech

Couples' therapy

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

WHO checklist

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'She nitpicks all the time!'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

"Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!"

Warring parents

'My programmer doesn't understand me.'