Communication Warriors Gifts

Two week's rehearsing vicious phone revenge were just sucked dry by 5 minutes of menu options.

The search for common ground.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Ban on Free Speech

Inclusive speech

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Teamwork

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Letter Collecting Nerd

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

WHO checklist

'Let us pray...'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The Horn of Unanswered Email

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"