Communication Crusader Gifts

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

What part of no don't you understand?

'This is a trust exercise. You're going to fall backwards and I'll catch you.'

"I don't mean to interrupt, but..."

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"I don't know why people complain that Twitter only gives you 140 letters to express yourself in. I usually manage with four."

"I admit, I didn't handle that well, but I don't want to discourage you from being honest with me in the future."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"I want to divorce, we never talk any more!"

Technology insulation.

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

The basics of psychology.

"Writing to your MP is a great idea, but you may want to reconsider starting by call him a **** piece of ****!"

'I am Evelyn Frank, and this is my husband, brutally.'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Lynching on social media

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"