Internet Crusader Gifts

Who is behind the computer?

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

"Hmmm. What am I gonna be outraged with today?"

Knights of the iPhone

'Look out world, I'm going viral!'

'Do you have anything for tweets?'

'The geeks will inherit the earth.'

'Please sir - I'm being cyber bullied!'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Lynching on social media

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Robot Robber

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Net Neutrality

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

Bees full of righteous indignation swarm the honey company's executive suite.

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."