Conversation Crusader Gifts

'What's the difference between overhearing a conversation and eavesdropping?'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Racial Profiling

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Way too much information on your resume.'

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Toastquest!

Seeing the marriage counselor.

Game Addiction

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

Knights of the iPhone

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

"Those are muzzles for whistleblowers."

"When is it my turn?"

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

"Luckily, these new life rafts come with a phone, charger and a cell tower."

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

Let the profit-making begin!

"We're very worried that John's homework has started to interfere with his computer gaming."

Broadband is Near