Contradiction Crusader Gifts

'He's always looking for an argument.'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

One way only.

Racial Profiling

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"Your Honor, we the jury blame the victim."

Super-Mario Draghi

"He's not good with criticism."

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"The dollar is falling!"

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

Let the profit-making begin!

"We audit at dawn."

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

The Human Stain.

'About half the students increased speed and lost some comprehension. The other half increased comprehension but lost some speed.'

"It's a note from my teacher. I would have already read it, but it's in cursive."

"Somehow, we started out with a plan for debt-free money and ended up with money-free debt."

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

'Yes, Mr Brown, I am aware that 'Tax' is Latin for 'estimate'. But you can't just guess at the numbers!'

You're living in the past, sir. We closed that loophole years ago.

'Yes... the truth will set you free... but so will a damn good attorney.'

Morning After Pill

Texas Abortion Obstacle Course

'The checks from lobbyists are in...the balances of our super PACs are up...'

Veterans of Cursive Writing