Conference Crusader Gifts

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"They're spending more money on conferences than on carbon capture!"

"Finding a big enough venue for the partner conference wasn't easy...eventually we had to settle on Las Vegas!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

Nervous Student

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Not The Real Me