Comic Convention Crusader Gifts

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Super pets.

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

The Family Joules: Part 15

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

'Instead of the dollar or the Yuan, I'd like my allowance pegged to the value of the comic book,'

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

'We lost funding.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

Travis practices socially distant trick or treating...

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

"Do you mind if I wait for a male superhero?"

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

Colin was determined not to go thirsty on the fun run,,,

"Finding a big enough venue for the partner conference wasn't easy...eventually we had to settle on Las Vegas!"

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

Superheroes.

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Triumphant Return Of Cap'n Quack!

"Too Marvel?"

'It's 'Wolverines Without Borders'. . . They want you to perform classic Fusco material in development countries where people don't have access to the comics.'