Conference Crasher Gifts

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'And in conclusion.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I love rock festivals!'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'Pick a business card.'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Psychiatric convention"

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'