Communication Buffs Gifts

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Surely you can't hold me responsible for what others might say."

Texting Addicts Anonymous

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

'If my phone is a smart phone, is your wall phone a dumb phone?'

'Must be for this new-fangled-email.'

'I'm sending the dinner invitations now.'

Campaign for Plain English

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Dialogue

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

She - Interpreter - He.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Ruddy bloggers!

Letter Collecting Nerd

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

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