Communications Buff Gifts

Birds sitting on aerial, one says to the other; 'I hear they're going to cable.'

"I said, is it Thursday?"

"You have no new messages."

'Look, my lost smartphone has found its way home ...'

'Yes, I'm talking to you from my sell phone.'

'Bluetooth.'

'Mom, what did people used to do with their thumbs before texting?'

Your call is important to us...

"So your calls are monitored. Just think of it as an old fashioned party line."

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"National security adviser"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'