Communications Buff Pillows

Birds sitting on aerial, one says to the other; 'I hear they're going to cable.'

"I said, is it Thursday?"

"You have no new messages."

'Look, my lost smartphone has found its way home ...'

'Yes, I'm talking to you from my sell phone.'

'Bluetooth.'

'Mom, what did people used to do with their thumbs before texting?'

Your call is important to us...

"So your calls are monitored. Just think of it as an old fashioned party line."

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"National security adviser"

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Twitter censorship

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"