Communications Geek Pillows

"It's from my attorney."

'I'll meet you down by the working animals.'

Campaign for Plain English

"National security adviser"

This Message Has No Content

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

She - Interpreter - He.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Letter Collecting Nerd

Ruddy bloggers!

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Twitter censorship

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Let us pray...'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

The Love Psychologists

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"