Communication Buffs Pillows

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Surely you can't hold me responsible for what others might say."

Texting Addicts Anonymous

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

'If my phone is a smart phone, is your wall phone a dumb phone?'

'Must be for this new-fangled-email.'

'I'm sending the dinner invitations now.'

Campaign for Plain English

This Message Has No Content

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Dialogue

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Twitter censorship

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Let us pray...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."