Communication Aficionados Pillows

'And this is one of our clients...er I mean service users, no I mean...'

"Hey, you're cute, you must give me your number."

'Now that we've invented language, I have to tell her every night where I've BEEN all day!'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

Babel Construction Co.

"We need to text about our relationship."

"No, I have nothing on my mind, but if I did I don't want to talk about it."

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

'I'm texting.'

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

Man using flag semaphore in a therapy session.

'I wish I'd said that' - brave mistakes volcano for smoke signal

"Anyway, it was nice talking and talking while you stood there in agony waiting for the opportunity to say even one word."

"When you say ‘let’s not and say we did,’ do you mean let’s say we can, or ... wait – I’m confused."

Campaign for Plain English

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"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Dialogue

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Ruddy bloggers!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."