Communications Nerd Gifts

If conversations were like email.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

WiFi Signals

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Ruddy bloggers!

Letter Collecting Nerd

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Twitter censorship

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Let us pray...'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

The Love Psychologists

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."