Telecommunications Geek Gifts

Of course, my phone would ring right now.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The DaVinci Code

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

If nobody had invented graphics

Elfie Stick

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Big screen TV falling through floor

Bot Art: After da Vinci

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

Twitter censorship

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'Take me to your computer.'

"We've been cancelled."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'