Communication Geeks Gifts

'For faster service next time use Email. Thank you!'

A Native American making smoke signals consults index cards.

'Can you hear me now?'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Yeah, I'm still on hold"

When Cricket and Human Worlds Collide.

'I can't receive FM-signals, but the conversations on the ships' long-wave radios break the monotony...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

This Message Has No Content

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

Create some buzz!

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Changing Minds

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

She - Interpreter - He.

Letter Collecting Nerd

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Twitter censorship

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.