Communication Aficionado Gifts

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I don't mind when you scream and throw things, but I hate it when you try to reason with me!'

ICU!

Swiss Army cellphone.

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

"Effective communications with clients is essential so we've come up with some mandatory training to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information...."

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"Something's wrong - I can tell by the way you're flipping me off."

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

'Pressing the send button on your first day is a classic mistake.'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'This call may be monitored for quality, so you'd better have a good reason for bothering us.'

'Well, I certainly can't say I missed this memo.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

Internet replacing postal service

'Got to go...just been lobbed.'

Mine only does text.' ( SMOKE SIGNAL FACE)

'Sorry, I have a picture of a car on the other side.'

Owls: 'Whoo! Who cares. Woooo? Me! I care!'

'Guess who came out of retirement to help out in the Communications Department?'

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

Cellphone throwing competition.

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

'I don't get it. It says to leave a message on his answering machine!'

Desk Organizer: Mail, Telex and Grapevine.

Out-dated smoke signals.

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

"When I first started working here, I thought our boss would be a good listener. But, that hasn't been the case."

"Of course I fired you ... didn't you get my text?"