Communication Aficionado Gifts

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

'Twittering about the fact that you're twittering,seems to be a waste of time.'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I don't mind when you scream and throw things, but I hate it when you try to reason with me!'

"Something's wrong - I can tell by the way you're flipping me off."

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"Effective communications with clients is essential so we've come up with some mandatory training to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information...."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

ICU!

Swiss Army cellphone.

'Pressing the send button on your first day is a classic mistake.'

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'This call may be monitored for quality, so you'd better have a good reason for bothering us.'

'Well, I certainly can't say I missed this memo.'

'Guess who came out of retirement to help out in the Communications Department?'

'Got to go...just been lobbed.'

Owls: 'Whoo! Who cares. Woooo? Me! I care!'

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."

'Sorry, I have a picture of a car on the other side.'

Mine only does text.' ( SMOKE SIGNAL FACE)

Internet replacing postal service

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

Out-dated smoke signals.

"We're upgrading the phone system."

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

Cellphone throwing competition.

Desk Organizer: Mail, Telex and Grapevine.

'I don't get it. It says to leave a message on his answering machine!'