Speech Coaches Gifts

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Twitter censorship

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Songbird.

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

Tenors

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.