Language Coach Gifts

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Harold, you've changed."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

Illegal Immigrants

Homophone Encounter

Psychiatry. I have an irrational fear of words like "and," "or," "but" and "if"! And, conjunctivitis!

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

'She nitpicks all the time!'

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."