Speech Coach Gifts

'Well, if you're conducting a state visit to Russia, you should at least learn how to pronounce 'Czar.''

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

What are you talking about?

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"Now growl."

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Twitter censorship

Songbird.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.