Language Instructors Gifts

Campaign for Plain English

A Puppet Named Juan

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Kirsten Johnson

'Leadership training.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Homophone Encounter

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!