Language Instructors Gifts

Campaign for Plain English

A Puppet Named Juan

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Kirsten Johnson

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

We speak hieroglyphics here.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!