Language Trainers Gifts

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

Illegal Immigrants

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.