Language Therapist Gifts

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."

National Dyslexia Association - sign on the door says: 'Bakc in 5 mintues'

Brother Ernest, I said "vow of silence," not "sow of violence"!

Psychiatry. I have an irrational fear of words like "and," "or," "but" and "if"! And, conjunctivitis!

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"A haand gel...!?"

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."