Dialect Coach Gifts

Scouse For Beginners

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Songbird.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'She nitpicks all the time!'

Tenors

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

An opera singer

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

"Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

Warring parents

"I detect an accent – money?"

"Great set of pipes!"