Speech Coaches Pillows

Yeah, I taught him to speak, but he still insists on using the teleprompters. Woof.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

Twitter censorship

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"A haand gel...!?"

Songbird.

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."