Conversation Coach Pillows

'Let's go somewhere noisy, where we can't talk.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Harold, you've changed."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'She nitpicks all the time!'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'My programmer doesn't understand me.'

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

Warring parents

"Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!"

The Art of Bantering!

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"Of course I care about how you imagined I thought you perceived I wanted you to feel."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'