Communication Skills Advocate Gifts

"He knows how to read and write. We want him to learn how to speak."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Ruddy bloggers!

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Harold, you've changed."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

Twitter censorship

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

Torturing the English Language

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'